COACHING SKILLS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS Part 7: Teach Your Teen About Hijack

Because of their still-developing emotional management skills, teens are even more likely than adults to have frequent episodes of emotional hijack. You will recognize it immediately when an innocent comment of yours is met with anger.  When you hear the words “you always” or “you never”, your teen is in hijack.  As you may recall [...]

COACHING SKILLS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS Part 6: Listen!

Listening = Attention 
When your teen is talking to you, do exactly what you’d do if you were listening to a friend.  Put down the newspaper.  Stop whatever you are doing. Look directly at your child and listen.  If you can’t listen without distraction, apologize, and say something like this: “Right now I need to get [...]

COACHING SKILLS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS Part 5: Acknowledge & Validate

There are few feelings as wonderful as the feeling of being deeply understood by another. 
When your child is talking to you, it’s a good idea to tell him what you believe he is saying and ask, “Do you think I understand you?”  If he says no, ask why, and really listen to the answer.  Accept [...]

COACHING SKILLS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS Part 4: Be Flexible, Consistent & Patient

Treat Your Teen Like A Respected Employee 
Suppose that in the last scenario, your son, who is in his room watching TV, has not emptied the dishwasher by the time you got home from work.  If he has not been required to do chores before, he may not believe he really must do it.  Or he may be [...]

COACHING SKILLS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS Part 3: Commands Don’t Work, Agreements Do

One way to show your child respect is to avoid telling him what to do.  It rarely works anyway, and there is a better way to get a teen to follow household rule, complete chores, and do assignments on time. Teens tune us out when we tell them to do something.  You say, “I want [...]

COACHING SKILLS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS Part 2: Respect Is The Key To Open Communications

Show Your Teenager Respect.
This step is crucial for your child’s development as a responsible and confident adult.  Teens often complain that parents demand respect but don’t give it, and that complaint is valid for a number of reasons.  You are the role model your child will emulate.  If your teen observes you treating everyone, including [...]

COACHING SKILLS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS Part 1: Why Coaching Works To Create Open, Positive Communications Between Parent & Teen

If you are the parent of a teenager you may wonder how the pleasant, cooperative child you remember so fondly has become the volatile, emotional teenaged stranger who now inhabits your home, eats your food, speaks in monosyllables (if at all), is prone to unexplainable emotional outbursts, and lives a mysterious life into which you [...]

LIVING ON PURPOSE

Who are you? Answer that question right now before you read further. I’ll guess that many of you answered the questions by saying what you do, or what your relationship is to someone else. If you named your occupation, or said you are a parent or spouse, you have actually answered a different [...]