Heard about coaching and wonder what it’s all about? Here are some answers to frequently asked questions.
What Is Coaching?
All of us have goals. Without them we wouldn’t get up in the morning. As we go through our daily lives, we use a variety of resources the help us figure out what we really want in life. Some of us keep a diary, and use it to write out our issues and look for answers. Those who are fortunate enough to have a mentor or best friend, often find it useful to talk about problems and challenges. Sometimes we do this to get advise. Often we are looking for a sounding board: someone who can listen to and reflect back what we have said about the matter at hand. Coaching provides this, and so much more. Friends or mentors may believe they know what is best for you, and may offer opinions designed to move you in their desired direction. You may agree, but you are far more likely to take action if it is something you have decided to do, not something you were told to do. That’s human nature, and that’s why “telling” is not the primary ingredient of coaching. A coach is a highly trained listener, who is skilled in eliciting strategies and solutions. The coach asks powerful questions, and helps the client incorporate the answers into a plan for action. A coach accepts you exactly as you are. The object of coaching is not to fix you, because people who employ coaches are already very competent individuals. Your coach helps you focus on goals that are important to you, and to achieve those goals step-by-step. Along the way, you have the reassurance of knowing that someone is with you in the process, anxious to hear about your successes, willing to help you get past your barriers. The process is empowering, and the results can be amazing.
What Are The Benefits of Coaching?
Most of us have at least one challenge where our current behaviors just are not working. You may not be taking good care of yourself, either physically or emotionally, and don’t see a way to do anything about it. You may be unhappy in you job, or wish you could live somewhere else. You may have a lifelong dream which you see slipping away because of inaction and the passage of time. There is a need for a change, but change is hard. You’ve tried to do it on your own, with rewards, punishments, all manner of self-talk, but you keep sliding back to the old routine. As it turns out, this is perfectly normal. Neuroscientists now recognize that our brains are wired to resist change. Our brains run most comfortably on routine, and when a change is detected, it is seen as an error. The brain resists the error/change, pushing back against it, refusing to accept it. Without a strong incentive to get past this mental activity, no change is possible. Punishment and rewards may work in the short term, but when withdrawn, we tend to lapse back into the comfortable routine. Our brains just don’t like being told what to do. The good news is this: the brain also has an innate desire to create novel connections. In other words, the brain likes to find new ways to do things. When people solve their own problems, the brain releases neurotransmitters, much like adrenaline. It feels good. And that is where the coach comes in. By asking powerful questions, a coach supports you in creating your own plan or solution, thereby making change possible. Your coach engages all of your senses while you create new insights, and new neurological connections. You have a partner who offers encouragement, helps you focus, checks in on your progress, and helps get you past any resistance, either internal or external, you may encounter. In general, you can expect the benefits of coaching to be equal to the effort you put into it. People have used coaching to write a book, to start a business, to find a job, to find the time to exercise. No challenge is too big or too small.
How Does Coaching Work?
Coaching sessions can be conducted in person, but in most cases coaching takes place over the phone. Generally, the person being coached makes the phone call at the agreed upon time. Most sessions are either 30 or 45 minutes, and most coaches talk to their clients four (4) times a month. The number and duration of calls depends on the needs of both the client and the coach. A coaching session is not like a normal conversation. While there may be a short check-in at the beginning of each session, for the remainder of the session the focus is on you and what you would like to accomplish. Coaching is a solution-focused process. By active and intuitive listening, the coach is able to ask pertinent questions and help you focus on meeting your goals through what works for you. Most sessions end with your action plan, which moves you closer to your goal. Your coach takes notes, and will be prepared to discuss your progress at the next session. The key to successful change is follow-up, the lack of which is the big reason change doesn’t happen. Coaching is all about follow-up. You know that someone will ask you about your progress. When you move forward, your coach will celebrate with you, then help you determine the next step. If you bump into a barrier, your coach will help you figure out why, and what to do next. Step by step, session by session, you move toward your goal.
Who Hires A Coach?
If you know anything at all about coaching and coaches, you probably heard about it in connection with some celebrity or business leader extolling the virtues of his or her coach. It’s true that many people in the public eye have recognized and utilized the power of coaching. But most people who hire a coach are just like you and me; competent individuals who recognize the value of securing a partner when it is time to make a change. Some people hire coaches out of a feeling of stuck-ness. A coach can help formulate a plan to get moving again, and then actually do it! Some hire coaches to help during a transition: retirement, empty nest, marriage, divorce, career moves, and many others. Transitions are tough because they require change, and change is sometimes very uncomfortable. Coaches assist clients to create very personal, and often novel ways of making change exciting, rather than forbidding. Many, if not most of us have at least one item on our life list that has been consistently there, but never achieved. It is more than a goal: it is a passion. We find the prospect of life ending without having done this thing very distressing.
